Lord of the Rants..

I highly doubt if you would want to read further. People aren’t usually interested in rants. Let alone rants that are so systematically and meticulously categorised. (——>>)
But still if you want to know more, here I am-

From wiki link-

Gaurav Somwanshi (born 2 May 1990), is a certified T.C.L. (level 5), i.e.a totally confused loser of the highest designation, who prefers being called totally awesome instead.
He holds the unique distinction of being the only person whose entries on Wikipedia.com and Uncyclopedia.com are one and the same. He likes to think all the time that he knows all stuff and knows what he is doing, and all that stuff that he has no idea how it happened to him, well, he attributes such stuff to some mystical force of Universe which exists solely for shaping his life towards its “Meaning” (notice the capital M), although if Universe really cared about stuff, the only logical conclusion looking at him and his life would be that the Universe is a mean bully and simply fucking with him.

1. Early Life and Career.

Well, he has no career yet. Or ever could have one.
His early life was spent in activities that he still continues to do till this day. For instance, he roamed all over his house in his underwear and wearing the towel as a cape after watching the ‘The Dark Knight’. Similar outbursts of passion or juvenile-retarded-syndrome (medical-term) were also seen after the release of Tony Jaa movies.

He bases his entire life-decisions on the single hope that his other hopes would be proven false, and that all the stuff that he hates will eventually be loved by him. Everyday he can hear the whole world crowding around him and saying,”Just go ahead with it. Don’t worry if it hurts you in the beginning.Soon you’ll be enjoying it” Yeah, that’s right- but unlike you, my intelligent but dirty-minded reader, he fails to see the obvious pun. And that’s how he ended up in engineering and now MBA, and he hopes that his hatred of the corporate world would be proven wrong. Good luck to him.

2. Personal Life
He makes Gollum look like a party animal.
Also, like Camus got hit on street corners occasionally with it, he too regularly gets smacked hard on the face with the feeling of absurdity, almost every single hour. Feels out-of-place everywhere.

3.Major Works

We just put the word “Major” up there to make him feel good for a sec, but no Gaurav, there is no major work by you at all. He reads a few books and watches a few esoteric movies and thinks that he is close to unraveling the enigma of Existence itself or that he has an answer to ‘how-to-get-laid’, but of course, fails to do either.

He writes sporadically, and you can read some of his wannabe-controversial articles in the Notes section of this profile.
He also writes grammatically challenging gibberish prose but prefers to call them as ‘Poems’. Apart from this, well, even including this, he hasn’t really been able to do anything remotely significant.

4.Political and Religious views

“Fuck the law and fuck the constitution, you are born free the moment you are born” is what he would have liked to say, but some guitarist dude said it before him, so he prefers to be called simply “Liberal” instead.
He feels a certain condescension at the thought of being a hardcore-religion-hating atheist and secretly feels thankful to all the religious nuts out there, coz if it wasn’t for them, he wouldn’t feel “smart” or “rebellious” at all. Just plain boring and ordinary. Which he actually is.

5.Legacy and Popular Influences

Yeah, right…


One Response to “Lord of the Rants..”

  1. Can you give a reading list, Gaurav?

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